So, actually this post isnt mine. Just found it here
Enjoy.
"What do you call it? Going out, Dating, Hooking Up, Intercourse
How do you explain it?
Midnight texts, early phone calls, unstoppable laughters, holding hands, warm hugs, deep kisses, endless story telling, that italian restaurant you both can't resist, the events you went together, tons of movies you watched, silly nicknames you shared, the past that comes up constantly ruining few moments you shared, cheek bones, touched noses, butterfly kisses.
I guess it's something little more than that. It's more than going out when feelings are barely involved. It's more than just dating when sweet talk is the only thing that comes out of their mouths. It's more than just hooking up when a night is the longest time you both can have together. And it's obviously not an intercourse when stuffs you do on the mattress are so important to make whatever you're having tastes better than it actually is.
It's more than just shallow shared stories, more than money spent on a date, more than just a fling. It doesn't involve physical things and any other superficial substances because this relationship doesn't need to be sugar-coated.
Because this kind of feeling grows when you least expect it. You fall for the most unexpected person, and that's what makes it so special. You fall for someone that's no match to any of your criteria, therefore you still have guts to say, 'this is the one I've been looking for my whole life'. You fall for everything about them. Not about who they are, how much money they make, and other shallow things. You fall for their manner, sense of humor, the way they treat you, the way they blink their eyes, say your name, giggle, hold your hand the way anybody else never did. You fall for every single thing about this person, even for their flaws. You know and you accept them. You know and you love them more.
Time passes. You both share a lot, even deeper... Talk about 'forever'. When 'forever' seems to be easier than it actually is. When 'forever' seems to be so realistic, when actually, it's only a blurry marginal thingy which divides something that meant to last and something that didn't. When you can simply ask, 'how long is forever?'. And me, myself, don't even dare to ask. I'm afraid if forever won't last long enough.
Season changes. They have new friends, new things to keep busy with, new circumstances. And the only thing that put all those new things in the same category is... you are not included. Distance makes it harder than it already is. Missing them becomes an exhausting routine. And it starts to kill.
People also change. The phone call stops, text gets shorter, excuses spread everywhere, no meaningful conversation, and you can't tell what's going on. But eventually you feel it. Someone loses feelings. Someone stops trying as hard as she/he did. Someone gives up on you. And you wish you were dead. Not because of the fact that your heart is broken. It's more because of the fact that people you trust so much, people that you thought would never give up on you, finally stop trying. And you can't afford not to have them in your life.
And you start saying yes. Saying yes to everything they want. Giving them the biggest space you can give. Tolerating big things that you actually can't keep up with. And they're still treating you like they won't lose you. Like you'll never stop fighting for them. Like you'll never walk away. When actually, the door is finally opened, giving you signals that you can leave anytime. And it's them who opened the door. It slaps you. They change into someone you barely know. Into someone you thought they would never be. Into someone they promised they would never be anything like.
And if people have changed this much, do they really deserve to be loved by someone who love them so much? Because they stop doing things that make you fall for them. They stop being your guardian. They are not home anymore.
Is it the point where I have to save myself again?"
